Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
