It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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