Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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