So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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