why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize