i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
operation have a gay friend backfired
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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