your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
