how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize