I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
