it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
