I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
