Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
