You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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