Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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