I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize