dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
