Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
