does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
