what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
