i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
did i just pee glitter
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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