In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
