I can tuck mytits in my pants
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
