I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
