3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
