ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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