OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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