3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
