Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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