just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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