The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
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