Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
