I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
