is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
