the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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