So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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