hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
