fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize