Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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