This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
