So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
His nipple licking is glorious
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