It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
