Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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