4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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