How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You ate ashes out of my bong
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
