Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I want her autograph on my taint
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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