Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
