Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
