he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
