i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize
