Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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