dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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