It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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