and you said cock pushups were impossible
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
