i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
