Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
