worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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