omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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