I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
