Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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