New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
