He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
