you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
