Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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