Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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