It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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