I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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