Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
