i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
