Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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